Superlatives

Is Gillette really the BEST a man can get?

Is the BEST part of waking up truly Folgers in your cup?

Is Disney World honestly the HAPPIEST place on earth?

Does Buddy the elf ingenuously locate the world’s BEST cup of coffee in NYC?

I do not enjoy being asked questions that require a superlative answer. Please do not ask me, “what is your favorite movie” or “what is your favorite food” or “what is your favorite place you’ve visited”? I do not do well in the universe of superlatives because I do not believe that there is ONE thing, one place, one food, one movie, one book, one song, one episode of Magic Garden that puts all the rest to shame and claims the crowning achievement of being “the best”.

A thing can be fantastic. It can be amazing, fabulous, enjoyable, stunning, awe inspiring, jaw dropping, beautiful, heart warming, cherished, glorious, brilliant (did I use enough descriptors?) but it doesn’t absorb into itself the equally amazing, fabulous, enjoyable, stunning… you get the point…qualities of some other thing. Saying something is the best, the tastiest or the most fun for me just sets up a lifetime of disappointment. Because unless you are listening to “the best song” then all other songs will pale in comparison. Unless you are eating “the best food” then all other gustatory delights will wind up tasting as if your head is all stuffed up and someone forgot to add the salt. Everything else just becomes a facsimile of the BEST thing that it can never live up to.

OK OK maybe I am getting a bit metaphysical but my point remains the same. Saying something is the best automatically stands everything up against it as inferior. I just can’t do that. When you ask me what my favorite movie is I respond by giving you a list of several movies I enjoy. If you ask me where my favorite place I’ve been to is located I will also share a list of several places that have captured my heart and imagination.

And that is why I appreciate when businesses employ modesty in their marketing. It endears me to the product and makes me want to be a customer. Do you want the BEST hot dog? No! I want Emil’s ALMOST FAMOUS hot dog. When I lived in Copenhagen, Carlsberg Beer had an advertisement banner strung up across the buildings in the main city square. It read, “Carlsberg, probably the best beer in the world”. Now they are talking my language!